PaperSpeakerScreen

Screen: This Is Spinal Tap

2009-03-29T15:57:00.007+01:00

Wikipedia, in all of its infinite knowledge, got me through the first year of a university degree without any actual revision. I'm not recomending or suggesting that this should be repeated, mainly because the tally of hours I have unwillingly spent on that site is simply epic*.
It did, however, turn my ever-wandering attentions to the hilarious (faux) band that is Spinal Tap, through means unknown to human minds. I love their completely useless umlaut.
And this film is just great.

Mildly Interesting Fact: The Spinal Tap song 'Big Bottom' is, quite uniquely, played on three bass guitars.

"What do you call this?"
"This piece is called 'Lick My Love Pump'"

*People spend their time writing stuff like this. And I apparently spend my time reading it.

Screen: One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest (Film)

2008-10-07T01:15:00.015+01:00

Recently i asked myself: "Am I crazy?"*. Of course I answered "Nope, don't think so.", but then realised there is a good chance that asking yourself out loud if you're crazy means that you are in fact (probably) crazy. So i decided to watch this film and i now think I am (probably) not crazy. Besides, I must not be crazy, because if i was i would (probably) decide to watch films and then post what i thought about them in a blog on the already waist-deep-in-other-peoples-opinions internet.
...Or something like that. Maybe I'd just buy many hats and tell everyone i was a dolphin.
But I digress, both Jack Nicholson and the film in general were insane...ly great (get it? HA!).

Mildly Interesting Fact: The film's title comes from a nursery rhyme.

"I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this."

*Note: I did not ask myself this, it is merely a narrative device. i actually asked "What's for dinner?" and answered "Tuesday".

Paper: Philip Pullman’s ‘His Dark Materials’ Trilogy (Book)

2008-09-22T01:21:00.002+01:00

In a dramatic turn of events, I have found myself writing this ‘review’ (for lack of a better word) on a book-trio that I have read before! Although this is my first review of a book so there will be nothing to compare it to… but that’s not the point. The point is that I know the book and can therefore write something meaningful about it.
In fact, as we are setting tasks for me to complete, I also aim to attempt to answer the eternal question: Would I have the gold thing (The Alethiometer’), the sharp thing (‘The Subtle Knife’) or the orange thing (‘The Amber Spyglass’)?
As we reach the end of this review, I would like to take a moment to reflect fondly on the moments we have shared so far. Remember the time I used italics on the word ‘is’? And when I had to look up the spelling of ‘Alethiometer’ so that I wouldn’t come across as a poor reviewer? Good times.
All three books are really great.

Answer to that question: The gold thing.*

* So I could ask it the best way to acquire the other two things.

Screen: The Shawshank Redemption (Film)

2008-09-22T00:46:00.003+01:00

I know what you’re thinking. Why hasn’t he watched this classic already? Ok, you probably weren’t thinking that but in my mind you are very extremely interested in what films I have watched already; let me have my fun. Well, the fact is, I hadn’t watched it and this needed to be changed as soon as possible.
I knew from the moment I bought this film that I would have to write about it in this blog.*
...So I should have something witty and pun-full to say, something that hasn’t been said before about the film, a new way to look at it. If this is what you are hoping from this post then I suggest that before you read any further, you go back and read another one of my other posts and then review your expectations of me. The come back and finish reading this review, which goes as follows:
The film was great.

“Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

*Note: this is a LIE. I was bought the DVD for Christmas I think, the blog was started this month.

Screen: Casablanca (Film)

2008-09-21T13:40:00.002+01:00

It's always best to start with an easy one.
This film is a reviewers dream because there is so much to go at and so many angles to cover. But before I go on, let me just say I am simply delighted to have this opportunity to showcase my expert reviewing skills to an audience so willing to listen. Who are just so willing to have me impart my wise opinions on their willing minds and, in return, willingly worship me as their new god, or at least as a major political figure.
In fact, if you elect me Prime Minister I promise to write a novel and offer it to each of you personally at a very reasonable price.*
What was I going on about? Something to do with angles? I was never really any good at maths, to be honest.
Oh, and Casablanca was a great film.

"Louis, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

* Note: The novel may or may not be a complete copy of ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ with the names and locations changed. One thing is for sure though, ‘The Mount of Jonti Jisto’ will be book of the year.